“Yes It’s A Shock, He Seemed Nice But Is This The Best Use Of Our Time?” Asks Therapist Of Man Spiralling Over Dave Grohl’s Lovechild

CONSOLING with and being alive to the pain her client must feel, therapist June O’Hare felt it was her duty to point out to local man Fionn Finnan that he’s paying €85 an hour for this and is crying over Dave Grohl really the best way to use it.

“While yes it’s a shock, I’m concerned that today would be the second session in a row you want to talk exclusively about Dave Grohl,” offered O’Hare as a disconsolate Finnan paced the room and repeating ‘nice man of rock my bollocks, the Best of You? Gimme a break’.

Here to process his complicated feelings for his overbearing mother and his tenancy to seek the same dynamic in his romantic relationships, Finnan was waylaid by his preoccupation with the front man of his favourite band having a child outside of marriage.

O’Hare admitted that in a previous session earlier this week she had presumed ‘Dave’ was Finnan’s close friend or brother, and so provided counselled him on his pronounced feelings of betrayal.

“Fionn, could we get back to how your mother always undermines you in front of people, we were on the verge of a breakthrough last week,” O’Hare pleaded, as Finnan began provided a list of Foo Fighters song he would no longer be able to listen to on account of their message of loyalty being meaningless now.

“It’s just if he’s not nice, am I nice? Can men be nice? Is marriage a lie? How many babies I saw being pushed around in strollers this morning are secretly Dave’s? Trust as a concept doesn’t work any more June,” Finnan said, before asking for an emergency double session.

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