We Asked, You Answered: What Ireland Should Spend The Apple €13bn On

PEOPLE ARE still celebrating an amazing victory for the Irish people after the Irish government tried to ensure that Ireland didn’t receive €13bn in unpaid tax owed by Apple and lost.

While it’s a worrying development when a government can be handed money it is owed just like that, years after fighting in the courts so they didn’t have to, WWN has turned to ourreaders and asked what they would like to see this money go towards:

“A factory that builds all the extra builders we need, but then who builds the factory in the first place? Ah shit, see this is why I’d be a terrible politician,” Sean, Navan.

“Put €6bn into time travel research, crack time travel, go back in time to 2011 when chicken fillet rolls were only €2. Spend remaining €7bn on chicken fillet rolls,” Darragh, hungry.

“I know people are eager to spend it on this and that, but the boring yet correct answer is cocaine,” John, cocaine addict.

“Sorry it’s already gone,” joint statement by the HSE, BAM and the Leinster House bike shed builders.

“Buying every copy of Leo Varadkar’s memoir and burning it so no eyes ever have to glance at a single sentence of it,” Maura, Spiddal.

“For that money the State could build 33,000 family homes which could then be distributed to landlords and AirBnb letters,” Bill Badbody, impartial observer.

“Hire an assassin to take out the lad who made those new bottles caps,” Dave, Trim.

“Hear me out; Jack Chambers, Vegas, roulette wheel, what could go wrong?” Paul, Carlow town.

“Fuck buying an apartment in Bulgaria… let’s buy Bulgaria,” Sinead, dreams of a return to the Celtic Tiger.

“Pay for an investigation into why being named Jeffrey seems to mean the guy is guaranteed to be a prick” Cian, Newry.

“Taoiseach, if you’re reading this my IBAN number is IE29AIBK931152771300869, it’s ages away ’til pay day, €13bn should do it, thanks,” Sinead, Gorey.