Healy Raes Suspiciously Quiet

A BUILDING sense of foreboding has spread considerable apprehension and unease amongst the Irish public who fear the Healy Raes have been quiet, almost too quiet of late.

“Not a peep out of one of them about how drink driving should actually be an Olympic sport or how climate change is just the devil using his BBQ,” shared a member of the public, who gets the eery feeling that something monumentally gombeen in nature could be simmering in the background, waiting patiently for its moment to explode.

“Nothing about Oasis been given the 10 nights in the Tralee dome for free if they can sheer a sheep while an in heat bull is in the same pen. Something feels… off,” added another member of the public.

The instances of ‘them up in Dublin’ diatribes being low could be explained by pointing out the Dáil has recently been on recess for a number of weeks, however, this is also typically a time referred to as ‘silly season’ in which ridiculous stories receives lots of air time meaning it would have been prime Healy Rae time.

“It’s like Schrodinger’s Healy Rae,” said one journalist, “I’m afraid to contact one of them, if I ring them and they answer that’ll kick start a meme-worthy news cycle but at what cost? It’s nice to have a break from it all”.