US Voters Won Over By Less Senile Man Who Had Stamina To Lie For 90 Minutes Straight


CELEBRATING the health of its democratic system which has produced two virile and mentally agile young men, many voters in the US were won over by the clear winner in the debate, the less obviously senile of the two men.

“Stamina is important in that job, long hours and a lot of responsibilities. The guy with the hair and the make up on, he really impressed me, 90 minutes is a long time to be up there telling lie after lie, it’s impressive,” shared one registered voter.

A commanding performance which resulted in 47 dedicated fact-checkers to die from exhaustion, Donald Trump won over a lot of people who have the same cognitive limitations Joe Biden was experiencing last night.

“One guy may be a convicted felon, civilly liable rapist and openly planning a purge of the civil service and academia, eroding democracy and further restricting the rights of women, but Biden flubbed his lines so he’s the one who should drop out” confirmed one voter who was on the fence until he saw clips of Biden looking more lost than an Eskimo in the desert.

“That pathetic display last night from those two has beens is why I’m voting the guy whose brain was being eaten by a worm,” offered another voter, indicating all is not lost as long as Robert Kennedy Jr is still in the race.

Others lamented the fact that for some voters, Joe Biden’s record in office just isn’t strong enough.

“Helping Israel kill 37,000 brown people and counting in Palestine isn’t sufficiently racist enough for me, I feel the other guy can do even better,” confirmed one debate observer.