Hunter Biden Gun Trial: Everything You Need To Know

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WITH a verdict due in the Hunter Biden gun trial, WWN has gathered all you need to know about his criminal trial for allegedly lying about his drug use on application forms when he purchased a handgun in 2018, an act commonly known as ‘being a God-loving red-blooded American patriot’.

Read all the juicy details here you gossip addicted fiends:

The jury heard that Hunter Biden was a support to his brother’s widow, who he then went on to have a romantic relationship with. Aside from introducing her to crack cocaine, other supportive acts included showing her how to jam a fork into a live socket.

Still not enough salacious scandal to get the 54-year-old Biden a place on the Real Housewives of Delaware cast.

Hunter Biden is alleged to have played Fleet Foxes while receiving a lap dance and smoking crack according to a dancer who testified at the trial, prompting questions about his taste in lap dance music playlists, and how someone could misjudge the vibe of lap dances so catastrophically.

Hunter Biden has been praised for helping all black sheep in families look good by comparison.

Joe Biden didn’t attend the trial but appreciated his son taking the heat of his old man’s ‘genocide enabling malarky in Gaza’ even if only for a few days.

‘Doing a Hunter’ has now replaced ‘Sideshow Bob repeatedly stepping on rakes meme’ in the US lexicon.

Biden’s behaviour, detailed in excruciating detail during the trial, has been labeled as ‘standard stuff you’d see at a gaff party in Kilkenny’.

“Crack cocaine, a thrown away gun and the president’s son” is coincidentally the next single from Eminem’s new album.

Hunter Biden would be favourite for a gold medal in the upcoming Olympics if ‘world class fuck up’ became an official event.

No charges leveled at US president Joe Biden, as of yet, for naming his son Hunter as giving your children terrible names is protected under the first amendment.

If Hunter is convicted, it will be just the latest blow to Joe Biden credibility after his campaign chairman, his deputy campaign manager, his personal lawyer, his chief strategist, his National Security Adviser, his Trade Advisor, his Foreign Policy Adviser and his company CFO have all committed felonies. CORRECTION: That’s Donald Trump.

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