Zelensky Building Up Good Rapport With UPS Weapons Delivery Guy

RESPONDING to a familiar rat-a-tat-tat knock on the door of his Kyiv bunker, Ukrainian leader Volodymyr Zelensky greeted his favourite delivery driver with a warm smile.

“Sign here on the usual place, yes? How are the kids? Did little James win that game?” Zelensky said to Martin Smith, the UPS delivery guy who delivers all the latest fresh weapons supplies from Ukraine’s allies.

“Did you get that meme, the one with Putin pushing Russian soldiers off a cliff like lemmings?” Smith inquired of just the latest in a long line of memes they pair now share on WhatsApp, along with their mutual annoyance at the fortunes of their favourite basketball team, the LA Lakers.

The only brief bump in the road for Smith and Zelensky was when the UPS man left several kamikaze drones on the doorstep when there was no answer at the door, leading to their theft.

“Quick game of FIFA?” Zelensky asked Smith, who was just done unloading US-made Patriot missiles.

“Can’t, sorry, once I’m done here, I’m straight to Israel with a Lockheed helicopter. I’d love to but I’m slammed working a double, I might have to make a delivery to Sudan later, but the bosses haven’t told me which side I’m delivering too yet,” responded Smith, in apologetic tone.

Elsewhere, the union of North Korean delivery drivers have criticised the media, stating they have received no praise for delivering millions of rockets and artillery shells to Russia, echoing earlier criticism from an Iranian drone delivery service.