Everything We Know About Sesame Street’s Upcoming ‘Shooting At School’ Episode

OVER the years, Sesame Street has helped American children tackle everything from literacy to autism to cookie addiction in a charming, educational way. So with school shootings in America now a daily part of everyday life for children, it only makes sense that the friendly and reassuring folk at 123 Sesame St. would do their bit to prepare the youth of today for an active shooter incident:

• As a disgruntled former cast member stalks the studio with a rifle, Elmo will help kids as young as 5 learn how to play dead so they don’t get shot. “Make yourself red like Elmo,” he advises.
• Songs and dance numbers are replaced by thoughts and prayers. Any children who question why they live in a world where this happens are declared undemocratic by a dead behind the eyes Republican puppet operated by the NRA.
• Gallant to the end, Big Bird sacrifices himself to protect the kids who had been listening to one of his stories only moments ago.
• Lured to leave his safe spot in the closet by his inability to resist a plate of cookies cooling on a windowsill, Cookie Monster is gunned down by a legally held firearm.
• Police will hang back in Mr. Roger’s Neighbourhood until all gunfire has ceased.
• The episode will be brought to you by the letters A and R, and the number 15.

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