Joining The Guards: Pros & Cons

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FOLLOWING a Labour Court ruling that deemed the Gardaí’s age limit of 35 for new recruits to be discriminatory, the doors could be about to fling open for a Police Academy-style raft of new candidates on our streets.

On the fence about joining? Here’s some pros and cons:

PRO

Blue suits you!

CON

You’re not sure you can convince the lads that your decades-long ‘fuck the cops’ stance was ‘just a joke’.

PRO

It might be nice to sit in the front of a cop car for once.

CON

What if you’re stationed somewhere dangerous, or shit, like Leitrim?

PRO

Detective Inspector [INSERT NAME HERE] has a nice ring to it.

CON

In all honestly, you know you’re never going to make it out of the rank and file grunts level.

PRO

You like smashing people in the face.

CON

Smashing people in the face is sometimes frowned upon.

PRO

But mostly by people who you can then smash in the face, so it’s all good.

CON

We hear the wages are shit. No seriously, like €184 per week during 32 weeks of training levels of shit.

PRO

But once you’re qualified it beats the dole, which you’re currently on because that whole ‘work thing’ never really appealed to you.

CON

Sirens are loud and annoying. Imagine sitting directly under one?

PRO

The contents of the evidence lockers mean you’ll never have to buy coke again.

CON

It will be heart breaking when you have to arrest your dealer.

PRO

If you go deaf you can probably make a big claim.

CON

You’re allergic to biscuits. And work.

PRO

You’re not allergic to that sweet feeling of superiority you get when you tell people that no, the road ahead is closed, you have to go around.

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