People Before Profit Defend €50mn Transfer Fee For New Signing Murphy

IT’S the stunning political transfer of the century, eclipsing the soul-based fee Stephen Donnelly paid when joining Fianna Fáil but Paul Murphy’s high profile switch to People Before Profit has raised eyebrows when it comes to the hefty fee involved.

“You just don’t get this level of experience on the left wing for any less. In today’s political transfer market the prices are the prices and I happen to think Murph is worth the fee, it was that or Michael Lowry,” confirmed PBP gaffer Richard Boyd Barrett.

Eye-watering transfer fees always run the risk on placing undue pressure on new signings, something Barrett says he doesn’t see effecting Murphy, who formerly plied his trade with RISE, Solidarity, Socialist Party and the People’s Republic of Paul parties.

“The lad will get his head down and just focus on getting the job done, putting in performances, gegenpressing the government like we know we can,” outlined Barrett, “he knows what we expect of him here at our left-wing club; berate the government, decry the evils of capitalism, defend the workers and the occasional protest, if he wants it to be a dirty protest, that’s up to Paul”.

Murphy for his part was said to be ‘buzzing’ at the chance to insult the government from a new position in the Dáil, while also stating it was also his dream to line out in the PBP colours.

In response to an increasingly cohesive left wing in the Dáil, fearful exploiters of workers have set up a rival Profit Before People party with the aim of attracting only the finest calibre of money-hungry bastards from the property, finance and stock broking industries.