Local Woman’s Order From UK Expected To Arrive Within 3-To-478 Working Days


HAVING made her way through the smooth online customer experience of her favourite clothing site in effortless fashion some three days ago, local woman Ciara Fahy has now been informed via an email in her spam folder that her order will land at her front door imminently within the next 3 working days or at the turn of the next millennium.

Citing ‘Brexit related delays’ which the online shopping giant conveniently didn’t mention when Fahy was putting in her card details, the 23-year-old faces an uncertain wait for her new clothes in a hammer blow which left Fahy stating “could this bastarding, shit chugging, pox of a lockdown get any worse”.

Online shopping, known to many as the only thing getting some people through this damned neverending lockdown nightmare, has experienced significant changes since the onset of Brexit tariff and custom rules leaving many to stare forlornly out the window for days with no delivery driver in sight.

For online retailers ‘some Brexit related delays’ has become a catch-all excuse to rival ‘my dog ate my homework’, sending customers everywhere into a frustrated rage.

“It’s not fair, all I did was order 14 dresses, 5 crop tops, 8 sets of underwear, 2 bomber jackets, 3 pairs of boots and 9 different pants that I’d probably return once I tried them on. Next day delivery shouldn’t be too hard,” confirmed Fahy, whose purchasing power rivaled that of a small country.

Elsewhere, a small number of ‘Irish based, owned and produced’ businesses are struggling to explain to customers how deliveries can be experiencing ‘Brexit related delivery delays’ when their websites claims all items are handmade on the Blasket Islands by direct descendents of Peig Sayers and not Bangladesh as is now clearly the case.