Dad Looking Forward To Big Leftover Turkey Curry After Dose In-Laws Feck Home


WATERFORD dad Michael Whelan is counting the minutes until the members of his wife’s family who arrived for Christmas dinner say their farewells and feck off home, so that he can have his ‘proper’ Christmas dinner and get stuck into a decent movie on the sofa with the kids.

“The mother-in-law, her smelly dog and her two dose adult kids arrive here every year, and they’re a bunch of fussy shites; not one of them would eat so much as a sprinkle of pepper on the Christmas dinner, so me wife, bless her cotton socks, has to make it as bland as humanly possible,” explained Whelan, looking at the dog licking its own nether regions while sitting in his chair in front of the telly, which can’t be switched on because ‘Nanna’s having a 4th nap today’.

“The minute I get these three out the door, it’s straight to the kitchen to claim whatever is left of the turkey and mix up a McDonnells Curry Sauce; lash in some veg, bang on the rice and then inhale the thing in three seconds flat, leaving you incapacitated and drooling on your hilarious new Christmas meme jumper like a sedated dental patient,” he added, rubbing his hands together like he just won the lottery.

“Turkey curry, ham curry, vegetable curry; I’d make trifle curry if I thought the wife would let me. It’s the only food I know how to make and that’s fine with me,” concluded Whelan, before drifting off to the thoughts of what a cherry trifle curry would actually taste like.