Have No Discernible Personality? Here’s 4 Taylor Swift Songs You’ll LOVE


ARE you one of the poor unfortunates who try as you might, can’t seem exert enough effort to make a mark in conversations and interactions with friends, family and coworkers? When it comes down to it is it just too exhausting to force yourself into like cool people things?

Do your interests, hobbies and pastimes fail to mark you out as decipherable from any of the other 7 odd billion people on the planet? Have people called you Joanne, Leanne, Karen, Rachel, Rebecca or Jane when that’s clearly not your name and hang on, you’ve known the person incorrectly calling you Jane for 3 years? Do they… do they not know your name?

Are you human kitchen roll? Always needed but often forgotten in the weekly shop?

Brilliant! Then this bland list of bland songs by bland Taylor Swift is the kind bland music that’ll get you shaking your hips in that forgettable way you do that no one can recall because you’re not really standing out with your bold opinions on…do you have any strongly held opinions? We can’t remember, sorry that’s on us, we should have paid closer attention to you Jane.

1) Blank Space

That thundering chorus that comes in like a yawn abandoned half way through being completed. Alright, hell yeah! Gentle, inconsequential music for the win!

2) Call It What You Want

Oof! Listen to those drums, borrowed from songs that actually raise your heart rate except here they’ve been dulled down as not to risk such a thing from happening.

3) I Did Something Bad

Featuring the word ‘shit’ we’re into unchartered territory. We had no idea you were such a badass.

4) End Game

With a ‘feat.’ from Ed Sheeran. Hold up, we can’t take how game changing this game changer is. Tay Swfitie Biftie Nifty paired with the greatest guitarist of all time?