Met Éireann Offer Fresh Warnings For Country To Ignore


MET Éireann has issued a series of bleak warnings to motorists and pedestrians ahead of the arrival of Storm Brian, which will be ignored or dismissed by 90% of the country who are adamant that they’ll ‘be grand’.

Storm Brian arrives on the heels of Hurricane Ophelia, described by much of the country as ‘a fuss over nothing’.

Throughout the duration of Ophelia, large numbers of people brushed off the dire warnings by highly trained meteorological scientists and went about their day as normal, because they had never had a tree fall on their car and saw no reason why one should fall on them now.

With large portions of the population ignoring all safety warnings about Hurricane Ophelia, the Met office has admitted that they are grimly pessimistic about the chances that people will heed the warnings of gale force winds and torrential rain for three straight days.

“Sometimes I think we’d be better off telling Irish people to get the surfboard, the weather’s going to be grand,” sighed a spokesperson for Met Éireann.

“We told everyone when Ophelia was on the way, to not under any circumstances go out unless absolutely necessary, and the next thing you get all these fucking morons swimming in the sea and walking along the coast. So what’s the chance they listen to us about a storm? Yeah, go on ahead lads. Go kite surfing. Climb a fucking tree. Do whatever you want. It’s only motherfucking Mother fucking Nature we’re talking about here”.

The arrival of Storm Brian has been welcomed by the Instagram community, who are looking forward to getting great shots of waves hitting the shore right in front of them.