Woman Wearing Fake Tan Turns Bed Sheets Into Post-Impressionist Masterpiece


A WATERFORD woman is now being tipped for the Turner Prize after inadvertently creating a one of a kind masterpiece out of her bed sheets, the morning after a night out with her friends.

Covered head to toe in excessive amounts of fake tan, 26-year-old Alannah O’Mahony retired to bed at 3.45am after drinking in Waterford City, only to awake to discover she had created a thought provoking tableau which art critics are calling an ‘astonishing piece of art’.

“It is all there, in those shit-coloured sheets. The inner turmoil, the human condition, the sheets destroyed by tan, in much the same way we dirty ourselves, our soul, the planet. Stunning, simply stunning,” Waldemar Januszczak, art critic for The Sunday Times shared upon first assessing the work.

“Some may say a homage to the post-impressionist work of Van Gogh is lazy, but it seems fitting, at the time of similar upheaval to when Van Gogh and Toulouse Lautrec were producing their best work – what Alannah has done here by wearing near toxic amounts of fake tan is to transfer that toxicity to her bed sheets. That sacred chamber of intimacy. It’s all too telling and sums up the times we live in, it is the 21st century’s defining work,” Ken Johnson, New York Times art critic remarked before adding that were O’Mahony to be denied the Turner Prize, it would be an outrage.

Remarking on how her latest work was being received O’Mahony was her usual candid self.

“Fucking state of me in the photos from last night, didn’t half overdo it with the tan boi,” O’Mahony said, assessing her most celebrated work to date, “will have to throw out those sheets too, looks like I shit meself, and I’m almost 100% certain I didn’t”.