Be Nice To Have A Day Off, Says Man Who Just Had Two Days Off

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FRESH off the weekend, one Waterford man has spent the majority of his Monday moaning about how just once, it’d be nice to have a day off where he didn’t have to work and he could just kick back and relax, ‘maybe watch some sport, maybe have a few beers, that kind of thing’.

Kenneth Maherton, 36, returned to his desk this morning after two whole days when he didn’t have to work, when he just kicked back and relaxed, watched some sport and had a few beers, that kind of thing.

Steeling himself for another week of grueling office labour, the Tramore native immediately began grousing to his co-workers about the injustice of it all, and how he’d ‘love a day off to just, you know, not do any work, a day to just relax, kick back with a beer and maybe a bit of sport on the telly’, something of that nature.

Also returning to their jobs after a couple of days of work-free relaxation complete with beers and sport, Maherton’s co-workers nodded in perfect agreement as he daydreamed about a day, just one day, where he was free of the shackles of work; free to just relax, kick back, stick a bit of sport on the telly and say ‘hey, somebody beer me!’.

“Will there ever come a day, when I can just kick back and relax with no work and a beer and like, the golf on telly, that kind of thing,” mused Maherton, staring into the grey misery of his office-based work life.

“Not like today. Today, there is work. There is no relaxing. No kicking back, no sport, and certainly no beer. So what I’m hankering for, what my heart is crying out for, is a day that is the opposite of this one”.

“Where here, there is work, oh, wouldn’t I love relaxation and the kicking back of oneself. Where here, there is no sport, I would love sport. And just as this day is filled with a sober, beer-free experience, my soul desires a day with beer. Is it too much to ask? Must I forever be unrelaxed, beerless and forced to work, fully kicked-forward?”

Maherton then set about his work with a humourless precision, making himself a promise that later on after he clocks out, he might just head home to kick back and relax, maybe watch some sport, maybe have a few beers, that kind of thing.

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