Garda Commissioner Arrests Breathalyzer Test In Show Of Force


UNDER PRESSURE Garda Commissioner Noirín O’Sullivan attended the arrest of one garda breathalyzer test which is believed to be part of a ring of fraudulent devices making senior gardaí look inept, WWN understands.

In a clear show of force, O’Sullivan was available for photo opportunities with the media as she placed handcuffs on a device which has been delivering inaccurate numbers of tests since 2014.

In total over 1 million tests which were recorded as happening by gardaí never took place, with an audit of the equipment three years ago revealing that statistics for roadside tests were invalid.

“We will get to the root of the problem as to why there’s so many aspects of the force culminate to frustrate and hinder officers on the streets,” explained the root cause of why so many aspects of the force culminate to frustrate and hinder officers on the streets.

Despite the arrest, the breathalyzer maintains its innocence, pointing to the fact that senior gardaí knew about the error and continued to record the test numbers, waiting three years to make it public knowledge.

“The breathalyzer test is also accused of sexual assault, make sure you put that in your article and ask Tusla about it, the breathalyzer test shouldn’t be around kids,” an unnamed senior garda representative explained.

News that everything is under control and there is no wider systemic problem in the upper echelons of an essential and important institution within Ireland will be of relief to many members of the public who had yet to read about 15,000 people who were wrongly prosecuted for road traffic offences due to garda errors.