Junior Minister On Paddy’s Day Envoy To Amazon Sacrificed By Indigenous Tribe


WWN sadly must report on the passing of a government junior minister as he carried out his ministerial duties as part of one of the annual St. Patrick’s Day envoys abroad.

“We are bereft,” read a statement released by the government moments ago, “but this is why we have junior ministers, he would have known the risks of patriotically banging the drum for Ireland, while getting a nice holiday out of it too”.

Junior Minister Donnagh O’Donnell had been traveling to Brazil with Minister John Halligan as part of an effort to promote Ireland abroad and was tasked with making contact with an indigenous Amazonian tribe, believed to be one of the few people who had yet to hear about how well the recovery was going in Ireland.

With some of the most iconic buildings and monuments around the world ‘going green’, O’Donnell was allegedly in the middle of negotiations with an indigenous tribe leader as he sought to paint one of the village huts entirely green when things went awry.

“He was just out promoting Ireland, like any good politician would and suddenly this tribe was calling him ‘the white devil’ and talking about their Gods and sacrifice. Next thing you know he’s on a spit being seasoned for dinner,” a shaken government spokesman shared with WWN.

“Now, if you’re looking for a positive, Donnagh has plenty of meat on him, so he will keep that tribe going for a few weeks, and that sort of message can only be a good thing for Ireland going forward. He was a great ambassador for the country,” concluded the spokesman.