Hospital Trolley Hasn’t Had A Day Off In Ten Years


A HOSPITAL trolley in Waterford is said to be on its last legs after working 10 straight years without a break, WWN can reveal.

The trolley, currently residing at the University Hospital in Ardkeen, was introduced fresh from the production line in 2007 and has seen thousands of patients occupying it over the decade.

“I was only meant to be a temporary stand-in while people waited for a proper bed,” the trolley explained, squeaking slightly as the next elderly patient was being hoisted onto it for God knows how long this time.

“My wheels are buckled, my side rails rattle and I’m nearly sure I got a waft of MRSI when they changed my bedsheets this morning”.

Fellow trolleys at the hospital have also reported the same, nonstop work routine, along with thousands more nationwide.

“We’d all go on strike only that lives would be put at risk if we weren’t available,” added another trolley, “all I ask is for one day off where I don’t have to do anything at all; just chill nice and empty in the hallway”.

Recent figures from the Irish Nurses and Midwives Organisation (INMO) showed 612 patients were on trolleys waiting for admission into hospital on one day in January this year – a record high for a nation which is supposedly recovering.

“I have it on good authority that this figure is even higher than that,” the trolley finished, before shouting at passing doctors for help as the now dying patient began convulsing.