International Appeal Made To Fathers To Stop Wearing Turtleneck Jumpers

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A MOVING plea has been made by the children of the world, directly addressing their fathers, imploring them to cease the wearing of turtleneck jumpers.

As sightings of turtleneck jumpers have increased steadily throughout the past 12 months, the world’s children have finally banded together to intervene. At a hastily assembled press conference, several children shared their harrowing experiences.

“He marched into the sitting room,” 17-year-old Ciara Mullally shared with reporters, sobbing throughout, “and he was strutting up and down like he thought he was a Victoria’s Secret model or something. And then, I’ll never forget it, he said ‘what do you think?’ smiling ear to ear, I nearly died of the embarrassment”.

Speaking to WWN, fashion expert and Instagrammer of awful clothes Fiachra Dooley Hennessey explained the worrying prominence in turtlenecks.

“Every couple of years they threaten to make a comeback when someone trendy wears them, last year it was Pep Guardiola and Drake, a few years ago it was George Clooney. But each and every time dads prove without a doubt that they just can’t pull them off,” Dooley Hennessey explained.

“But there are consequences, many young people suffer panic attacks and become very stressed when faced it with blocking their fathers from leaving home while wearing a turtleneck. The shame children would feel if the public saw their father like that is monumental”.

The turtleneck crisis has reached a worrying new height with breaking news reaching us that 55-year-old father of 3 Noel Caffrey was seen in Topman in Jervis Street Shopping Centre shop requesting a slimfit turtleneck in an extra small size.

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