Lucky Prick In Office Catches Winter Vomiting Bug

CORMAC Drehan has been labelled the luckiest man in Waterford this morning after his coworkers discovered he had it ‘coming out of both ends at a ferocious rate’, leading to the IT worker securing a precious day off from work.

“Lucky fucker, dying for a day on the couch myself,” shared Drehan’s coworker Alan Goffey, “and didn’t he get two weeks off when he had to get the kidney transplant, some pricks have all the luck”.

Drehan who has been running hot and cold while emptying the contents of his stomach since 7am, is relatively unaware he is drawing out envy from everyone at Hartnell & Jones IT Solutions.

“Do you reckon if I pop round to his at lunch I’ll catch the bug,” queried Bernadette Lowney, “like would you have to lick his sweat or something, or have him lick you,” added Lowney, seemingly fixated on being licked by Drehan in some form.

The winter vomiting bug, which staff at the IT firm speculate is a ‘walk in the park’ can see people miss multiple days at work and become hospitalised.

Envy soon turned to anger, frustration and outright contempt of their ill coworker when staff realised Drehan had avoided spending the rest of the day doing health and safety training with Ciaran from HR.