Local Aunt’s 14th New Boyfriend This Year Probably ‘The One’

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SWIRLING rumours in one Waterford homestead suggest that Tramore woman and local aunt Deirdre Collane’s latest boyfriend may be ‘the one’.

In a dramatic unveiling ceremony, Deirdre is believed to have presented Danny Mondran to her older sister, her brother-in-law and her 4 nieces and nephews and declared they were getting on so well she wouldn’t be surprised if they were married sometime next year in Spain, in a church she definitely hadn’t already picked out.

Not wanting to speak too soon or ‘jinx it’, Deirdre tentatively suggested Mondran, her 14th boyfriend of the 2016 dating season, was likely to be the one, her future husband and mother of her 5 children named Daniel Jr, Ciara, Colm, Eoin and Ella.

“More like future ex-husband,” Deirdre’s brother-in-law Martin whispered under his breath, not helping matters at all.

Citing two dates they had gone reasonably well and a half remembered and drunken conversation about ‘wanting kids’ the 36-year-old school teacher was happy to report she had ‘called off the search’, much to the confusion of Daniel, who could have sworn Deirdre said they were going to the cinema and not to her sister’s house for a sit down meal.

“I thought Graham was your boyfriend,” said one of Deirdre’s nieces, veering wildly off a carefully worded script provided to her by her mother, Elaine, as part of an effort to ensure one of Deirdre’s triggers weren’t activated.

For his part, Daniel smiled politely and engaged in small talk as part of what he was almost sure was his last ever date with Deirdre.

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