Marys 20% Less Contrary Than Previously Thought

THE NATION’S Mary population are rejoicing today after a groundbreaking study dispelled their longstanding reputation as ‘contrary’, WWN can reveal.

Researchers at the Institute of Studies have published their study into Ireland’s Marys and returned a verdict that they are as much as 20% less contrary than previously thought.

“Exonerated, I feel relieved and exonerated,” a teary-eyed Mary Kilkenny said as she embraced fellow Marys on the steps outside the Institute of Studies building.

“Don’t get us wrong, you’ll encounter Marys who are just as argumentative as those people who you’d label as absolute pain in the holes, but they are not any more contrary than a John, Michael, Siobhan or Sinead,” head of the research project Prof. Daniel Kinnen told WWN.

Kinnen’s research showed that the vast majority of Marys hold relatively conventional opinions on all manner of subjects and are not as contrary as portrayed in popular culture down the ages.

“People think ‘oh, it’s just a nursery rhyme’ but I’ve been dogged by this reputation all my life, and maybe now finally it’ll bring an end to men asking me how my garden grows too,” Mary Kelly shared with WWN.