WWN’s Horoscopes

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aries

21 March – 20 April

You decide to get rid of your horoscope this week. We don’t agree with you, but it’s your choice and we respect that.  

taurus

21 April – 21 May

Your allergy to answering your phone continues, but your ability to text is unaffected.  

gemini

May 21 – June 20

Your Monday ends in a draw, forcing a replay next week.  

cancer

June 21 – July 22

Your life got stuck at 57% so you had to stop it and start again.  

leo

July 23 – August 22

Indian for dinner = bad idea. Putting baby wipes in the fridge = good idea.  

virgo

August 23 – September 22

Staying at home and watching Paw Patrol all day is one of your better recent ideas.  

libra

September 23 – October 22

You’ve got your Halloween costume ready, don’t you? You’ve been planning it all year, haven’t you?

scorpio

October 23 – November 21

You are almost 100% sure you just saw H from Steps in Lidl.  

sagittarius

November 22 – December 21

You’re happier than anyone should reasonably be at your purchase of a new bin for your kitchen.  

capricorn

December 22 – January 19

You adopt a ‘let’s just get this over with’ approach to life that works out really well for you.  

aquarius

January 20 – February 18

You’re not allowed try on trousers in the middle of the shop once you get past the age of 9? Thanks for telling us.  

pisces

February 19 – March 20

After years of asking everyone, you finally find out what the craic is.  

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