BREAKING: Possible Coup Underway In Cork


NEWS is starting to filter through to WWN central, about a possible coup underway in Cork City.

Reports came in this morning that a group of separatists from the Cork Liberation Troop (CLT) had seized a number of key areas across the city, including the bus depot, the train station and a branch of Hillbillies Chicken. More as we get it.

[UPDATE] All social media activity has ceased and all broadband seems to be down. This may just be due to the fact that it’s Cork.

[UPDATE] Garbled message received by Gardaí. Again, this could just be Cork talk.

[UPDATE] Large amounts of slogans visible on walls around the city, claiming “Cork’s the best”. Awaiting confirmation as to whether or not these slogans are fresh or if this is just normal for Cork.

[UPDATE] Appeals for information from Cork people met with hostility. News reporters told to fuck off and mind their own business. Again, no way to confirm if this is a coup or if this is just Cork on a Tuesday.

[UPDATE] No Cork politicians available for comment. Once again, we stress that this may not have anything to do with any ongoing coup.

[UPDATE] We are here on the streets of Cork. There is an eerie sense of danger hanging in the air, and we feel like we’re quite unwelcome. We can confirm that this is just Cork. Stand down.