Local Man Can Be Reached On Facebook While Phone Is Broken
AN INTERNATIONAL crisis has been narrowly averted, after a Waterford man released a statement in which he clarified that while he waits for a new phone, he can still be contacted via Facebook.
Kenneth Harkerly, 26, dropped his iPhone at the weekend resulting in a smashed screen, prompting Harkerly to drop it off with a Chinese lad in the shopping centre for repair.
This sudden drop in communication with the unemployed Dungarvan native lead to countries across the globe going into varying states of civil unrest, with both the dollar and the yen plunging in value while uncertainty about Harkerly’s activities ran rampant.
Calm returned to both the markets and the houses of parliament across the world when Kenneth took to social media to stress that while his phone was being repaired for the next few hours, people could still contact him via Facebook.
“One minute we could contact Kenneth, the next, chaos,” said a NATO representative, breathing easy for the first time in nearly an hour.
“Where was he? Why wasn’t he responding to texts? He’s such an integral lynchpin to the entire world, we need to know where he is and what he’s doing at all times. Luckily, we can shoot him a quick message on Facebook while he gets his new screen put in. We’ve stepped down the terror alert to yellow”.
Harkerly has promised to never again be uncontactable, and has set up a helpline for those who have been affected by him not having a phone for an entire morning.