TDs Make Half-Hearted Promise To See Each Other Over Summer Holidays

AS politicians make for the exit signs in Leinster House and begin their summer holidays, TDs could be overheard discussing their plans with many of them claiming they would ‘definitely’ keep in touch with their colleagues.

Formally breaking on the 21st of July, many TDs arrived into government buildings today to clear out the bits of bobs from their offices that they wanted to take home for the summer.

“Like, it doesn’t have to be a pint, maybe a coffee or something. I’d say I’ll be up Dublin in the next few weeks I’ll give you a shout,” Fianna Fáil leader Micheál Martin enthusiastically shared with his opposite number Taoiseach Enda Kenny.

“Oh, absolutely, long overdue,” the Taosieach responded cheerfully.

However, it was clear that neither man was remotely sincere about meeting up.

The party leaders weren’t alone in making half hearted promises to meet up as TDs from all parties were similarly busy making claims they would ‘love’ to meet up.

“Aw, look, I’d love to have you over for a Netflix night and that, but my mam never lets me have anyone over, she’s really strict,” Jack Chambers told fellow TD and child in disguise minister for health Simon Harris, “but like maybe we can meet up outside the Central Bank and hang around there, I’ll Snapchat you later,” he added unconvincingly.

Small pockets of TDs remained in conversation about their plans for the summer, each and every one of them far too polite to acknowledge the fact they’re sick of the sight of one another and actually have other friends to play with back home.

“Get as many Sinn Féiners together as ye can, I know a pub in town that’s class for the trad songs, you’ll love it. I know we said we’d do this last summer, but I’m definitely up for it, honest,” minister Leo Varadkar shared with Gerry Adams in a brief exchange, while simultaneously running through excuses in his head for why he won’t respond to any of the Sinn Féin president’s text and Facebook messages.