Amanda Holden Settles Into Cryogenic Tank For Another Year


TRANSPORTED in an inconspicuous blacked out van after the conclusion of the final of Britain’s Got Talent, Amanda Holden was moved into her specially reserved space at the FroZone Clinic in Mayfair, London.

Holden, age unknown, has been a resident at FroZone for the past 10 years, ever since landing a judging gig on one of ITV’s flagship entertainment shows.

While little is known about the experimental facility, it is believed Simon Cowell has shares in FroZone and periodically stays there himself.

However, its longest serving resident is the immovable and effervescent Holden and she is expected to undergo cryogenic freezing until the auditions for next year’s show begin at the end of the year.

“Her return to Frozone couldn’t have come at a better time, her skin was beginning to crack and peel away from her body, and we had to replace a leg that fell off during the filming of the semi-final,” confirmed one lab technician who greeted the van transporting Holden at the gates of FroZone.

It is rumoured that the process can cost between £80,000-100,000, but many beauty experts have suggested you can’t put a price on only being able to express one emotion, which in Holden’s case is a permanent state of faint surprise.

This year’s Britain’s Got Talent is believed to have been won by someone, a group or an adorable dog.