“How To Cook Exactly Like A Chipper” Becomes Best-Selling Cookery Book Of All Time


BLOWING straight past cookbooks that show you how to make Paleo salads and superfood smoothies, a new book that purports to teach people how to make a fresh cod and chips that tastes exactly like the one in your local chipper has become the number one selling cookbook of all time after just a week on release.

“How To Cook Exactly Like A Chipper” is one of the most sought-after cookery titles in years, and is the first cookbook in recent memory that was not written by a supermodel or a reality TV star.

With recipes for chips, cheese chips, garlic cheese chips, and garlic cheese taco chips, HTCELAC has struck a chord with people who are finally coming to terms with the fact that they hate salad and love chips.

Written by members of the Irish Traditional Italian Chipper Association, the book finally spills the beans about some long-held chipper secrets, such as how do they get lettuce to be so tasty, and what exactly is in a spice burger.

“We feel confident in passing on our recipes, because we know you’re never going to be able to fully replicate them,” said Luigi O’Shaugnessy, one of the tome’s authors.

“It’s like when you wanted chips when you were small and your Mam said she’d make chips that were just as good… no they fucking weren’t. Only we can make them lovely burgers and chips. So we’ll gladly share our recipes with you, because there’s no way in hell you’ll be able to make a battered sausage as good as the one you get in a chipper. Jesus Christ, even our salt tastes nicer”.

The success of “How To Cook Exactly Like A Chipper ” coincides with National Fish & Chips Day, a day initiated by Italians to atone for Toto Schillaci.