People Who Wear Odd Socks Are Just Lazy Bastards, Finds Study


A GROUNDBREAKING new study into sock wearing has found that 96% of people who wear odd socks are actually lazy bastards at the back of it all, and not the rebellious, super-intelligent geniuses they make themselves out to be.

In fact, the study found that people who choose to go about their day wearing odd socks, were said to be almost twice as disorganised as those who insist on matching pairs.

“Many of the odd socks subjects claimed to have a ‘quirky’ nature, but in fact, this quirkiness was down to just being a lazy bastard that couldn’t be arsed searching for the other matching sock,” lead researcher Thomas Partridge explains. “These people have somehow convinced themselves that their lackadaisical attitude towards life was more about them being special somehow, as opposed to the reality of being complacent”.

The study also found the majority of those who admitted to purposely wearing odd socks were twice as likely to call themselves “creative”, claiming this character trait as an excuse for their terrible academic skills.

“I was never good in school, but I’m an actor now,” self-confessed odd-socker Damian Lyons told WWN, brandishing one yellow and one red sock, like it meant something. “I’ve been working full-time in retail for 10 years now, but my main goal is acting. I was never the nine-to-five type if I’m honest. I’m just too zany for that kind of thing”.