Government Asks Charities To Stop Counting The Number Of Homeless On Streets


THE insistence of a number of leading charities in continuing to count and monitor the number of homeless people across the country is said to be angering the government, WWN has learned.

“Surely a count every 10 years will do? They’re worse than some lass on Snapchat posting stuff every 2 seconds. Like, do we really need a daily update on homeless figures? Relax, it’ll be grand,” confirmed an understandably irritated spokesman for the government.

With homelessness figures steadily increasing month to month, the government is determined to persuade the charities that are fulfilling the State’s obligations to stop making them look so bad.

“In fairness, do we need to know the exact number? It seems a bit excessive, I dunno maybe some charities have an OCD thing going on? It’s bad enough that charities are stepping in where the State refuses to, no need to count every person like they all matter,” the spokesman added.

“We want to solve this homeless thing as much as the next person, but making us feel guilty about it all the time and shouting about how it’s a travesty is actually a bit mean when you think about it,” the spokesman concluded.

It is believed the new junior minister with special responsibility for the Department of Things That Are More Important is committed to eradicating talking about homelessness by the year 2025.