FUTUREWATCH: US President Donald Trump


DONALD Trump is set to storm the White House and sweep to an impressive presidential election victory this November. With this in mind, WWN’s political experts have outlined the exact events of his triumphant presidency, which will run from 2017-2037

Some minor changes to the constitution are made

President Trump sets about transforming America and wrestling it from the hands of losers and politicians by amending the constitution so that it is officially noted that America is ‘great again’ and ‘shall henceforth, forever be this way as long as President Trump is in office’. Supporting articles to the amendment include a list of all the people President Trump knows to be ‘very bad people’ or ‘losers’, these individuals are forced to receive tattoos on their arms, numbering them from 1-23,000,000 in order of their ‘loserness’ ranking. Graphic descriptions of how big President Trump’s penis are added, with three paragraphs devoted to detailing its girth.

President Trump reveals himself to be a masterful advocate of peace

By starting wars with China, Mexico, Iran, California, Iran again, Europe, every country ending in ‘stan’, and Grampachua, a fictional country made up as a prank by the media, President Trump achieves peace by killing close 5 billion people.

That wall is built

A 50 foot high wall is built by Mexico along its border with the US, in what appears to be a construction that just appears over night. However, Mexico had begun building the wall as early as late 2015 while all of America was distracted by how insane its political landscape had become.

Additionally, Canada built an even larger wall, and returned America’s murderers and rapists south of the border. By 2020 Europe and Australia, China and Japan build similarly sized walls on the Atlantic and Pacific oceans, fully insulating America in its Utopia as President Trump had always planned.

President’s residence

The White House is moved from Washington DC to the roof of Trump Tower as President Trump states that he hates the commute, and that DC is a lousy, lousy city.

America’s economy thrives

After the successful annihilation of over 5 billion people, America no longer faces competition for jobs from countries which no longer exist such as China.

Successful third, fourth and fifth terms

Viable candidates to President Trump fail to materialise as he uses his secret assassinations to murder all politicians, and their children.

His untimely death

President Trump is shot dead by himself after beginning an argument with himself in the mirror one morning. He is replaced as president by a Blu Ray DVD copy of The Hangover 3 and a hamburger.