Adams To Try Get Into White House Again When They Change Bouncers

SINN Fein leader Gerry Adams is to chance his arm getting into the White House again after failing to gain entry to a dinner hosted by Barack Obama last night.

Adams spent 90 minutes yesterday attempting to get into the event along with Deputy Leader Mary Lou McDonald and Martin McGuinness, the north’s deputy first minister.

The door staff in Washington kept the trio waiting at the gate while they checked over their documentation, despite Adams’ pleas that “they’ve been here loads of times”, and that “some of their friends are already inside”.

The Sinn Fein party then stormed off in a huff after telling the bouncers they could “stick their poxy venue”, before returning less than an hour later with Gerry wearing Mary Lou’s jacket, McGuinness wearing Gerry’s jacket, and Mary Lou with her hair up instead of down.

The ruse did not convince the secret service staff, who told Adams that the White House dinner was for ‘regulars only’, leaving Adams furious.

“They keep checking my ID, there’s nothing wrong with that ID. No other place even looks at my ID anymore” fumed Adams, while insisting to his cohorts that they weren’t going home until they got into the White House for ‘at least one’.

“We’re going to hang around the corner for an hour, until these bouncers go on their break and the next shift starts. This lot just don’t like us, is the thing. Maybe I gave them bad manners last time, fucked if I remember though. If this fails, we’ll try and go in one at a time. Maybe they just don’t like people who go in crowds”.

Adams cut himself short after spotting Enda Kenny walk unhindered into the venue.

“The fuck are they letting him in and not us?!” sighed Gerry. “Unbe-fucking-lievable”.