WWN Previews Ireland’s Opponents Romania


The green army rolls into London’s Wembley stadium to face a Romanian side who put up a tough defence against the French midweek before being put to the sword, here’s the lowdown from our rugby correspondent Vaughan Hickey Horgan:



Team nicknames: Ro-insanians, Oh Well They Tried Their Best, and another one written in Romanian which we couldn’t understand.

Biggest club teams: The Bucharest Ballsacks, The Steaua Buchatakearests

Strengths: occasionally proving their doubters wrong, a rich history of scientific achievement, slow assimilation into the wider EU community in 2007; benefitting from all the economic advantages that entails, home to Dracula.

Weaknesses: Losing to us in Italia ’90, can’t seem to shake their love for shitty Euro-pop, levels of corruption in sections of society convinced Fianna Fáil to set up an outreach programme to Romanians politicians in 2009.

Starplayer: Florin Vlaicu

Florin Vlaicu.

Florin Vlaicu.

Special moves: kicking the ball real good sometimes. Also, with the ball in hand pointing in the distance and urging his opposite number to look over there, only to run away once they look in the direction he was pointing.

All time try scorer: Gheorghe Hagi

WWN score prediction: 51-6 to Ireland.

What to watch out for: people in the crowd scrolling through their phones as if getting tickets to see Ireland play in a rugby World Cup is somehow a waste of their precious fucking time.

The TMO referee getting distracted and zooming in on Paul O’Connell’s arse, widely considered the finest arse on the display in the tournament by experts.