Swiss Authorities Arrest Blatter After Disguising Themselves As Pile Of Cash In Sting Operation


SWISS authorities are believed to be celebrating this evening after finally getting their man, outgoing FIFA president Sepp Blatter after the success of an unprecedented sting operation.

Jupp Hitz, an experienced member of the Zurich police force is believed to have disguised himself as a massive pile of cash, carefully placing himself in the foyer of FIFA’s headquarters.

The operation immediately ran into trouble as over 100 FIFA employees dashed to the cash pile once they caught sight of it, violently fighting to see who got to keep the huge sum of money, presuming it to be a bribe from some Gulf State prince.

Hitz returned later that day posing as an even bigger pile of cash, this time clearly marked ‘For Sepp’, when it is believed believed Blatter’s keen sense of smell which is attuned to the smell of large sums of cash sniffed out the pile.

Breaking into a brisk walk while licking his lips, Blatter left his office before proceeding to erotically hug the cash pile.

“I’m a bit shaken up by the hugging thing, but I’m just glad we can get started on prosecuting this guy,” Hitz told WWN.

The FIFA president initially pleaded his innocence, stating that the pile of cash Hitz posed as could have been for any number of bribes, therefore making it hard for the charges to stick.

Blatter is believed to have requested diamond encrusted handcuffs, and a prison cell with a private vault, as well as a sauna and spa retreat in it.