Homeless Children Better Off In The Fresh Air Anyway, Insists Government


THE Government has defended latest child homeless figures released today, insisting they are better off in the fresh air at this time of year anyway.

The number of under 16s living in emergency accommodation across the country has now exceeded 1,000 for the first time since records began, the Dublin Region Homeless Executive released today.

“Sure who wouldn’t want to be out in this?” posed Minister for the Environment Alan Kelly when questioned about the figures. “What kid doesn’t like camping, eh? If I had the chance myself, I’d be out in it. The stars must look amazing at night, and all that fresh air? C’mon guys; homelessness is a state of mind, not some cataclysmic event in a child’s life”.

The latest figures also represent a 55 per cent increase in the number of homeless families in the capital since June last year, tragically meaning the coalition cannot attribute the problem to the previous government.

Focus Ireland stated this morning that a total of 1,482 people were in emergency accommodation in the fourth week of March, just minutes after the coalition announced a staggering €44bn in tax revenue this year with a surplus amount to €2bn.

“We’ll probably need to invest fifty percent of this profit into Irish Water,” hinted Finance Minister Michael Noonan earlier. “The rest will go on tax cuts for the middle classes that we can’t afford as a Nation but we as a party need to make to get elected”.