Nation Suddenly Realising How Shit Snow Can Be Again


snow ireland

MERE hours after frolicking with gay abandon in fresh snow, the Nation has suddenly realised how truly awful snow can be.

Despite the Nation being diagnosed with ‘snow amnesia’, a condition which leaves people unable to remember the downside to snow, the majority of Irish people still fall for the sight of fresh snow.

“We had the kids out there throwing snowballs,” said father-of-two David Cummings told WWN, “but then while we were busy having fun we forgot about all the cars in the estate crushing the snow on the roads, turning it into a solid icy death road”.

Cummings faced a treacherous 12 foot journey back across the road from the local field to the driveway of his home, sadly not everyone made it home in one piece.

“The last thing the wife said to me was ‘ah, aw, eugh, ah’ and then she slipped,” an emotional Cummings said before breaking down in tears.

“Now she’s left me to look after these little shits who want nothing more than to live in the fecking snow 24/7,” added Cummings, still unaware of when his wife would return from the chemist after buying heat patches for her sore back.

Elsewhere, motorists have become almost feral in their battle for supremacy on the roads.

“We have had to make several arrests, there’s something about the snow that brings out the madman in everyone. Ambulance services had to respond to a call regarding a woman who was driven insane, she tried to remove snow and ice from her windscreen,” confirmed a Garda spokesperson.

“We would like to reiterate for the 1,000th time that we discourage drivers from placing skis beneath their wheels, this will only end in disaster,” added the spokesman.