Man Decides Perfect Time To Declare His Love For Co-Worker Is At The Christmas Party Around 4am

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PRINGLE, Richards, Ingle, Cleary, King, Sullivan & Associates employee Martin Cummins has decided that 4am by the nightclub toilets is the perfect time to declare his love for fellow employee Niamh O’Moore.

The decision was arrived at shortly after the consumption of Martin’s tenth jager bomb of the night and second vomiting ‘incident’ in the gents toilets.

Full of the Christmas party merriment which saw the office begin drinking at 3pm, Martin coached himself into an excitable romantic frenzy while his head was halfway down the toilet bowl.

“Just be yourself,” Martin said as a fresh fragment of vomit flew from his mouth. Then, for reasons unknown to both WWN and Martin, he began an impromptu performance of Disney classic ‘I wan’na be like you’.

“Now I’m the king of the swingers, the jungle VIP,” Martin began from the comfort of the toilet floor, “Ooh-bi-doo, I wan’na be like you, I want to walk like you, talk like you, too,” he added clearly skipping over vital parts of the preceding verses which sets up the ape’s desire for man’s fire denying the song much of the tension it later relies on.

Once finished his singing, Martin left the toilet only to discover Niamh standing by herself in a now nearly empty nightclub. The coworkers of seven years began chatting, but Martin was mainly staring closely at Niamh’s lips.

It was in the middle of this conversation Martin decided once and for all to passionately declare his love for a woman he was almost certainly not actually in love with.

While his declaration wasn’t entirely coherent or audible Martin made sure to acknowledge Niamh’s recent switch to a more ‘peachy’ smelling shampoo.

Niamh, happily married for five years, politely declined Martin’s overtures all but confirming the end of the coworkers’s playful office friendship in the process.

Martin is set to replay the exchange over and over in his hungover and fogged mind tomorrow morning despite the conversation only lasting 5.7 seconds.

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