Tourists Become Hopelessly Lost After Asking Irish Man For Directions


A GROUP of American tourists currently attempting to drive around the Ring of Kerry have entered their second day of being completely lost, after asking a local man for directions as they set out on their trip on Monday morning.

Robert Lanslow from Texas, along with his wife Irene and their two kids Justin and Celine, set off from their hotel in Killarney at 8am, intending to drive the fairly straightforward 60km journey to the small coastal town of Cahirsiveen.

However, the holidaying family stopped to ask directions to the scenic coastal area from a man who pointed out what he assured them was “a far quicker way altogether”, resulting in the Americans becoming hopelessly lost somewhere in the Kerry Tundra.

“I had checked out my route on the internet, I just needed to know how to get out of Killarney town and onto the right road, ” said Lanslow, during a phone call to the Kerry Mountain Rescue Team.

“I stopped a guy on a bike and asked him how to get to Cahirsiveen, and after following his instructions, we found ourselves on what can only be described as a cattle track on the side of a fucking mountain”.

Before giving any directions at all, it is believed that the man first asked the Lanslow family where they were from, how long they would be in Ireland, how the flight from America was, and if they happened to have ever met his brother who emigrated to Boston in the 70’s but was killed in the early 90’s.

The Texan family was then asked why it was they were going to Cahirsiveen, before a range of other coastal towns were offered as alternatives. Upon learning that the family had their hearts set on their original destination, the man, described as “quite rural in nature”, began by insisting that the route proposed by Google Maps would take “ages” and that a much quicker alternative was available via several roads which did not show up on Sat Nav.

The Lanslow family is expected to be rescued later today, having admitted that they may have missed “the tune that’s 100 yards this side of where Mickey ‘The Saddler’ O’Neill used to have a Post Office”.

This marks the 50th time this year that the directions given by Irish people have resulted in tourists becoming hopelessly lost, prompting Tourism Ireland to place strong warnings on their website.