Friend’s Happiness Not Infectious, Just Annoying Agree Friends

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A group of Waterford friends have exclusively revealed to WWN that their friend Alan Loughrey’s new found happiness is in no way infectious and is in fact incredibly annoying.

“God, I must know Alan going on 15 years at this stage,” explained close friend Amanda Nolan, “but I’ve never seen him so happy and as a result so annoying”.

A number of people in Alan’s immediate circle of friends have noted that despite a number of positive developments in his life recently they can’t but find it all very unbearable.

“Whoever said happiness is infectious is talking absolute bollocks,” offered Alan’s best friend Noel Foley, “I much preferred Alan when he had the heroin problem, granted, his life was a mess, but I just feel all this pressure now he’s doing well and he’s so bloody nice all the time.”

“I started internalising all that and start asking myself why I’m such a prick, it’s not fair. It’s actually quite selfish of Alan when you think about it”.

Alan, who tragically lost all 47 members of his immediate and extended family in a death related incident, fell into a life of addiction aged just 18 but in recent times has managed to turn his life around.

Now the CEO of a multi-billion dollar start up and the father to newly born twins Alan’s happiness is truly insufferable.

“Everything points to being happy for him, but I can’t do it, he’s just so cheery and always asking me to hang out, see his kids and I can’t do it, his smiley head is just so annoying,” explained friend Mark who can’t help but be reminded of his own inability to be happy for people every time he sees Alan.

Alan’s group of friends has announced their plan to slowly lose contact with Alan over the next year or so, paving the way for a return to their long-treasured negative pub conversations.

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