Ebola Second Biggest Threat To America After Americans
AS the Ebola virus threatens to take over North America, the American public finally have some concrete evidence that the Ebola virus is fast becoming the biggest threat to America’s very existence, second only to Americans themselves.
With a second case of Ebola confirmed in the nation of 316 million people, the virus has now entered an apocalyptic phase with its desire to infect all new born babies clear for all to see.
However, worryingly, many Americans are being coaxed into watching news stories regarding US violent crime statistics, persistent health issues and crippling inequality, instead of focusing on the fact that Ebola is literally seconds away from taking over North America.
WWN shockingly found evidence of at least one local news outlet in America reporting non-Ebola stories much to the distress of locals living there.
“We’ve had to stomach some new report on how murder rates in America are much higher than in that of other Western nations, but SCW 14 still haven’t got around to focusing on how Ebola is part of ISIL’s big terrorist attack,” explained concerned resident Noelle Beckerman.
With only 14,000 plus murders in the US in 2012 many American citizens viewed themselves as safe from other Americans, leaving the majority of TV viewers enraged that Ebola has not received 27 hour news coverage.
“It’s an affront to my human rights to find a news channel not telling me about how Ebola was created in a Nazi laboratory,” added Glen Hopkins, a clinically obese man whose death, like 18% of all deaths in America, will be obesity related.
Some leading figures of the Christian movement in America have also denied that Ebola could be construed as a punishment from God in the same way Aids was once proclaimed to be an extension of ‘God’s will’.
“That’s a highly offensive thing to say and ignorant quite frankly. It can’t be a punishment from God as I could potentially be at risk of contracting it and God only punishes people I hate,” explained Pastor Mike Forlani.
100% of Americans misled by a panic-obsessed media agree with a Fox News report which suggests President Obama has not acted quickly enough in sending drone attacks to ‘the bit on the map where we’re pretty sure Africa is’.
A separate poll conducted concluded that Ebola had every intention of restricting gun control and spreading the word of Islam throughout America.