Cat Belonging To Enda Kenny To Replace Hilary Quinlan On Board Of Irish Water
WATERFORD Whispers News has learned today that a cat belonging to An Taoiseach Enda Kenny has unanimously been voted into a seat on the board of Irish water, replacing chauffeur and former Councillor Hilary Quinlan.
Mr. Tiddles, a 3-year-old Bengal, is believed to have been put forward by Mr. Kenny for the job last week and will join forces with Irish Water’s ten member team of directors.
“We believe Mr. Tiddles will bring a new perspective to the board and hope he will be comfortable here in Irish Water.” said managing director Dr. John Tierney. “He will liaise with our directors here in bringing new ideas to the table.”
When asked if the decision to hire the cat for the fifteen thousand euro job was by anyway influenced by his owners’ position in government, he replied “no”.
“We had no idea he was related to Mr. Kenny. It was only after carefully reading through his long list of credentials, we were happy to offer him the position.” he said. “Did you know that cats can clean themselves with their own spit? They don’t use water. In fact, cats hate water. That’s exactly the kind of thinking we need here to move forward.”
Mr. Tiddles will meet with his fellow directors on Monday to discuss ongoing developments across the country.