WWN brings you the latest in its groundbreaking HerDailyEnterJoement series.
Have you ever noticed how classic craic loving Irish lads, who love nothing more than to sit down with a cool crisp pint Banter, also have a unique and touching relationship with their penises? How mad is that? We bring you Robbie, an absolute legend with feelings and everything who wrote to his penis. This totally viral letter has been doing the rounds now on 378 different Irish sites and we’re proud to be the first to bring it to your attention. What a ledgebag. Like, so random!
Check out this touching letter below to see what we mean, oh and grab the tissues, it’s an emotional one:
Dearest Trouser Snake
I’ve known you all my life, although we only really became close when I turned 12 and caught sight of an early Seoige sister prototype – Gráinne Seogie 1.0, the regular newsreader type. If I can be honest, I fucking love you. Nevermind what Lauren said about you that time we stayed in Galway for a weekend. You are the best and if you were an early 2000s nu-metal band your name wouldn’t be Limp Bizkit! Like I said Lauren was a real bitch. It’s been tough recently as I been pulling anything but my weight. But don’t fret, what I love about you is that, when we find that perfect mix of woman who is as equally attractive as she is woefully insecure, you’ll be there for me. I’ve stopped that course of steroids and will cut back on the gym so, you know, well ‘that’ won’t be happening anymore. I can’t thank you enough for providing me with nights that have given me the basis of wildly embellished stories I regale my mates with. I know they probably do the same and it’s an easy truce not to call bullshit, but we’ve embellished stories better than anyone. I think it’s time though, that we address last week. It was a tough one. Clare said some things she didn’t mean and don’t worry, I won’t let Wonky catch on as a nickname. It’s offensive and only partially accurate. We can move past this rocky patch, you and I, and come back harder, better, faster and stronger.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, I know people say it all the time, but I really haven’t told you how much I love you lately. You’re the best penis a guy could ever hope for. I love you, penis.
I hope this letter finds you well hung,
Not a dry japs eye in the house after that.
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