Planet Not All That Bothered By Kurdish Mans Beheading



ABSOLUTELY everyone was unmoved today by the latest ISIS beheading video of some Kurdish guy in Iraq.

News of the video, entitled “A Message in Blood”, failed to bother anyone in the slightest after being posted online several hours after another boring video showing the mass execution of 250 Syrian soldiers in the desert.

“What the hell is a Kurd anyway? It sounds awfully like a turd,” said one Liveleak commentator. “This whole beheading thing is kinda losing its appeal to be honest”.

“Boring! Next!!” wrote another.

“Is this like a neck nomination thing?” asked one US commentator. “I don’t see a donate number anywhere.”

The clip shows a group of captured men, believed to be Kurdish fighters, in orange jumpsuits sat in front of an Isis flag. One man is shown kneeling on the floor in front of a mosque with three militants behind him.

The uninteresting man, who appears to be brown-skinned and without a word of English, is then beheaded while the fighters warn others will face the same fate should Kurdish leaders choose to continue an alliance with the US.

The video comes after the group posted footage last week showing the American journalist James Foley being beheaded by a fascinating English speaking militant, who said his killing was in response to air strikes.

In an official statement, ISIS has since apologised for today’s poor quality beheading video, claiming there was a very low budget available for Kurd killings, thus explaining the horrific sound and video production: “We weren’t really hoping for millions of views on this one to be honest. The viral beheading video thing is a tough one to crack so if we disappointed anyone today, we are truly sorry.”