Sky Newscaster Diagnosed With Stockholm Syndrome After Being Held Captive By Same 4 Stories



THE MEDIA world is said to be in shock after learning the tragic story of a Sky newscaster who has been held captive by the same 4 stories for the majority of her 9 hour shift.

Gemma Bond, 34, began reading the news at 7am on Sky News this morning expecting the usual smattering of stories involving politics, human interest, science, fear mongering, business, entertainment, sport and hilarious cat videos.

Unfortunately for the 6 year veteran of the Sky News newsroom, it was a very slow news day, meaning Gemma would be held captive by a paltry 4 stories, forced to repeat them every 12 minutes – such are the demands of the 24 hour news cycle.

“We didn’t have a clue as what to do,” shared Sky News editor Ryan Thornley, “when you get a news day like this you know you’ll be light on good stories but try as we might to find additional segments, there just weren’t any”.

The experienced editor then revealed he could see Gemma was beginning to panic as she realised she was caught inside the same 4 stories for the next 8 hours and 48 minutes.

“Not even Kay Burley could survive 9 hours of ‘Man trips on pavement twice’, ‘The cute toy every child wants’, ‘Ukip member in racism shocker’ and ‘Yet another man trips on pavement’. We did everything we could for Gemma but it wasn’t enough,” Thornley added as he broke down in tears.

Concerned viewers took to social media to voice concern for the newscaster, with several viewers asking why no one doing anything to help her. “Poor woman got the fear in her eyes, don’t make her read this over and over again” said Twitter user NevilleWifDemBigBalls7.

What viewers didn’t realise was that during Sky’s 4,000 ad breaks staff reassured Gemma new, more newsworthy stories were breaking as they spoke.

But no one was prepared for what came next…

Gemma began to display a reverence and fondness for her captors, she began reading the news stories with a smile and a zeal not previously apparent, leading to the conclusion that she was experiencing Stockholm Syndrome.

Despite new stories eventually emerging around the 2pm mark, Gemma refused to read from the autocue, instead repeating those same 4 stories over and over again. Sky management wisely called in an expert negotiator to try to reason with the now complicit Gemma but there is little or no hope they will be able to break the bond Gemma now feels she has with her captors.