Man In Deli Queue Hoping Not To Get Salad Roll From The New Girl

A COUNTY Longford man queuing for lunch in his local Centra is currently hoping not to be served by the new girl, due to her reputation for making absolutely shocking salad rolls.

The girl, now in her third week at the busy deli counter, appears to have not grasped the basics of salad roll construction and frequently makes mistakes such as omitting requested ingredients and putting the fucking lettuce on last.

“If I’m ninth in the queue and there’s three people serving, then I might just miss her.” mused Tom Togher, in an exclusive interview with his own thoughts. “Unless someone asks her for a toasted sandwich or a box of wedges, or something like that.

“I’m starving for a ham, tomato and coleslaw, roll, but if I land on the new girl, I’m just going to get a jambon or something because her rolls are pure cat. With a bit of luck, I’ll get the aul lassie instead, she’s been here for years and she knows the meaning of ‘keep plenty of space between the bread’ so she does”.

The new girl, who is only in for the Summer and doesn’t really care, obtained her reputation as a poor salad roll constructor from very early on. Togher, a 25 year old Shop assistant, recalled many of the horrors she has inflicted on him.

“She’s as slow as fuck.” said Togher, who only gets a half hour for lunch in the first place. “And she has no idea of quantity; here’s a newsflash love, when I ask for a wee bit of onion, it doesn’t mean I want every onion in the shop. And try and make it so that I can eat it, because the half of the last roll she made me ended up on the fuckin ground”

As fortune would have it, Togher narrowly missed having his roll made by the new girl, and was instead served by the ruthlessly efficient Eastern European girl, Magda.

He was said to be very pleased with her salad roll skills, even if he was not entirely sure what she meant when she said “Boootahmaynays?”.