HSE To Ask Winning Waterford Nurse Syndicate For A Loan

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WWN has learned that a group of Waterford nurses who recently won as much as €500,000 in a Euro Millions draw are set to be contacted by the HSE who are desperate for a loan of some cash.

Yesterday senior HSE officials sat before the Public Accounts Committee (PAC) and were questioned on the seemingly poor running of the HSE with some on the PAC even suggesting it is ‘not fit for purpose’.

Both the HSE director Tony O’Brien and the Department of Health secretary general Ambrose McLoughlin were told by the PAC chairman they should resign, but they remained defiant, even suggesting they had a ready made solution in place for the HSE’s continued woes.

“Did ya read about those lovely, lovely nurses down in Waterford?” O’Brien asked a visibly confused PAC panel.

“Ah, aren’t nurses great, some of my favourite lotto winners are nurses” added McLoughlin, who was seen to be wearing an ‘I Love Nurses’ badge.

“You see, the thing is, these nurses won a bit of money and since the HSE has always looked after them so well, we figure they’ll be good for a loan, ya know, to plug the gap in the finances,” added O’Brien to a now baffled panel.

The HSE’s overspend was in excess of €60 million in the first 3 months of this year alone with a potential overrun of €500 million in spending which has prompted fresh calls for the organisation to be reviewed and major changes made.

“Ah every little helps though,” McLoughlin ventured as he joined O’Brien in nervous laughter.

While the nurses have chosen to remain anonymous the HSE have politely warned all nurses that they can be fired if they don’t ‘throw a few quid our way’ but the HSE also insisted that ‘nurses are lovely’ before changing tact again and stating ‘like we said nurses are lovely but not unfireable, so you know, money – give it to us’.

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