Quinn Owns Heckling Teachers With Stand-Up Routine

Minister for Education Ruairi Quinn responded to hecklers at the ASTI Teachers conference with an impromptu stand-up comedy routine, silencing the braying crowd with a succession of zingers.

The minister had braved a cacophony of boos and jeers by teachers over controversial Junior Cert reforms due to start on a phased basis this year.

At one point as he delivered his address to the hostile crowd, one delegate went so far as to use a megaphone to disrupt proceedings, upon which the beleaguered TD unhooked the mic from its stand and let the hecklers have it.

“Y’all some noisy mothafuckas”, quipped the normally reserved Labour minister. “Y’all come up in here, interrupting me while I be workin an’ shit… how bout I go interrupt your momma when she be working, slap the dick out her mouth?”

The tirade continued as Quinn addressed the man with the loud horn, suggesting that the teacher’s wife hadn’t seen a horn that big in quite some time. Pacing the stage, he also cemented his beliefs that the new Junior Cert system trumped the old one, claiming education standards were slipping and that the congregated teachers were “pumping out some dumb mothafuckas”.

Following the twenty minute tirade, Quinn resumed his planned speech to a stunned and subdued audience. ASTI chief Pat King was amazed at how the Minister had handled the situation.

“At first I thought he was going to just stand there and take all the abuse that was being thrown at him” said King, who suffered several verbal lashings during the ministers heckler beat-down.

“So I was as surprised as the rest of the teachers here when he ripped the fuck out of all of us. I must admit, when he quipped about the weight of several PE teachers I nearly lost my shit laughing”.