Assad Regime Behind Dail Lock Out Protest, Warns Irish Media

THE IRISH press has warned that the Assad regime maybe behind the lock-out protest at Leinster house today, which is currently being overseen be a substantial number of Gardai.

Hundreds of officers were drafted in amid fears that demonstrators would attempt a military style coup on the Government, coining the phrase ‘The Cathoilc Spring’ among witty Gardai at the scene.

Media sources believe the real IRA were originally behind the protest to start, but were later infiltrated by the Assad regime, in what has been called the biggest power shift to ever hit the Dublin criminal underworld.

Crime sensationalist Paul Williams told WWN that he expects a good six or seven books out of today’s events, but urged innocent protesters caught on the ground to go home before things get all ‘middle eastern down there’.

“The sheer power of the Assad regime will crush everything in its path.” he explained. “I once was eating in a Syrian restaurant in London when a waiter accidentally dropped a spoon. He was brought out the front and was beheaded for his mistake. This was to deter other would-be mistakers.”

“This is the kind of crazy people you’re dealing with here today in Dublin.” he added. “They cut off heads like all the time and don’t even think twice about it.”

Gardai believe that some Assad troops carefully disguised themselves as hairy Irish hippies in order to go unnoticed at the protest today.

“We’re waiting for them to reveal themselves at any moment now.” warned one heavily armoured Garda. “If what the Irish papers is saying is true, then a lot of us won’t be making it home tonight to watch ourselves on the six one news.”