FAI Ask Terrible Sunday Footballers For Their Opinion On National Team



The perception amongst those ‘in the know’ is that Martin O’Neill will be handed the job of Ireland’s next manager but it appears the FAI are taking no risks when it comes to the big appointment.

WWN can exclusively reveal that head of the FAI John Delaney is reaching out to the fans in the hope that their collective expertise will guide him to the correct choice. Delaney spoke to Ireland’s leading news publication to reveal his plans.

“We are looking for any flat footed, thick as shit fellas who wouldn’t know a ball if it came up to them and violated them. It only dawned on me the other day, the idiot that I am, the one thing that was missing for this selection process was the opinions of shite amateur footballers who know absolutely nothing. I mean literally nothing.”

The general response from Irish supporters has been one of shock but excitement. “It’s been a long time coming, if I’m being honest,” Ciaran Walshe, a passionate supporter from Laois, “now I’m playing every Wednesday in a 5-a-side with a few lads in the office and to be fair I’ve scored 3, no actually 4 goals. The lads were coming up with great ideas for the national team. Stuff like ‘play better’ and ‘stop being shit’.”

Gary Behan, a labourer from Cellbridge, echoed Ciaran’s sentiments when interviewed by WWN.

“About time isn’t it? Like I’m playing in week-in, week-out for Cellbridge B’s and my thoughts on the matter, have up to this point been completely ignored by Mr. Delaney and Co. My advice would be to get in that guy, name escapes me now but the lad who managed that Manchester team to 13 league titles and several European trophies.

He would be perfect. A man who has officially retired from football and was at one of the biggest clubs in the world, was on about 9 mill a year. He’d be the right fit for a national team ranked outside the top 50 who can pay him about 200 grand and give him a decent fuel allowance. No brainer really.”

Delaney confirmed to WWN that fans consulted will of course be allowed hurl abuse at him from close range during the selection process.