Landmark Island Sold For Loss At €80bn


THE 74,000 Km2 island of Ireland has been sold under the hammer for €80bn after originally carrying a price tag of €900bn earlier this week.

Currently operating as a small country, the Republic of Ireland was sold by online property website to a group of European investors called the IMF.

On the west coast of Europe, Eire, a substantial land mass standing on a large corner site opposite the North American continent, was sold at 3pm today by owners Brian Cowen and Brian Lenihan.

Only one group was contending for this property. The guide price was more than ten times the actual sale price. This was later cut due to the lack of interest by prospective buyers.

The Island went on sale last week to much surprise of its residents.

“We didn’t even know it was on the market” said Gerard Rowe, an unemployed Spar employee.

“No ones really sure what’s going on. We’ve just been told that it was sold on to some guys on the continent. Sure, they can’t be any worse than the last owners. A didily idily didily dum a didily dum dee do” he added while dancing a jig.

One of the previous part-owners of the property. Brian Lenihan, said that the island needed to be sold as quickly as possible before it devalued any further. He described the sale as “a huge weight off his shoulders” and said he was going to take a nice long holiday with the proceeds.